The Measure of a Father
Published Wednesday, June 11, 2008
The Charlotte Post
PHOTO/ADAM BATTAGLIA
Rod Garvin and his daughter Ayanna share a special relationship.
Rod Garvin was 23 years old and had just graduated from college when his daughter was born. He was not married to Ayanna’s mother, whom he still has a good relationship with, but that didn’t stop him from taking a very active role in being a good dad.
“It’s been my greatest blessing and my greatest challenge,” the 33-year-old said. “My child became the most important thing in my life.”
Garvin said he and his 9-year-old daughter share a special bond.
“The relationship between a father and a daughter is unique,” Garvin said. “A lot of people prefer to have a boy, but I think they underestimate what the relationship could be. There’s a certain type of connection (with a girl).”
Until Ayanna gets married, Garvin said he’ll be the number one man in her life for a long time.
They see each other throughout the weekday and on weekends.
“We do a lot of activities together, we go to parks, trips with family, to church and the movies,” Ayanna said. “He’s a good dad.”
Teresa Farmer, a recreation attendant for Sistas Gonna Work It Out, a mentoring program for girls 9-16, said it’s unfortunate that while many fathers are absent from their children’s lives, there are many more who are present.
“When the dads are there, the girl’s attitude seems to be a little different,” Farmer said. “You see that daddy’s girl type of situation...and it’s been positive for them.”
Farmer, a single mother herself, said when fathers drop their daughters off at the program, she notices the girls are well-rounded and believes they may become less sexually active when they get older.
“The dads are a lot more on top of things,” Farmer added. “It’s been positive for me to see that so many dads are involved.”
BOYS
Robert Wayne is a dad raising his 17-year-old son, Robert Wayne III, who has been living with him for 10 years.
Wayne’s father was taken from him when he was young, which is why it was imperative for him to raise Robert III in a stable environment.
“I think having a (father) is very important because without that a kid can get lost,” Wayne said. “There’s a lot of confusion with right and wrong. I didn’t have a father growing up. I wanted to be here for my son as he grew so I could give him the things that I missed that affected my development as a man.”
Robert III said he and his father are real close.
“He’s taught me almost everything,” the teenager said. “He’s taught me how to be a man.”
Aaron Means, the executive vice president of programs for 100 Black Men of Charlotte, an organization aimed at being role models for African American youths, said anybody can be a father but it takes a special person to be a dad.
“Being a dad is being there for the child, teaching them the right road, and being there when the child needs you,” Means said.
Means said what a child sees is what they will become.
“A lot of people just need to understand that black men care because we do,” Means added.
Wayne, who speaks very highly of his son, said their relationship is great. His son is talented athletically and is very special to him.
The best advice for any single father or new dad Wayne and Garvin said, is this:
“It’s very important to communicate with the child...and don’t give up because the child is always looking up to you,” Wayne said.
Garvin added: “It’s unfortunate that I have heard so many stories that say the father is not involved. But I embrace the relationship with my daughter. I even have different ways of thinking about womanhood now.”
PHOTO/ADAM BATTAGLIA
Rod Garvin and his daughter Ayanna share a special relationship.
“The relationship between a father and daughter is unique,” Garvin says.
Rod Garvin was 23 years old and had just graduated from college when his daughter was born. He was not married to Ayanna’s mother, whom he still has a good relationship with, but that didn’t stop him from taking a very active role in being a good dad.
“It’s been my greatest blessing and my greatest challenge,” the 33-year-old said. “My child became the most important thing in my life.”
Garvin said he and his 9-year-old daughter share a special bond.
“The relationship between a father and a daughter is unique,” Garvin said. “A lot of people prefer to have a boy, but I think they underestimate what the relationship could be. There’s a certain type of connection (with a girl).”
Until Ayanna gets married, Garvin said he’ll be the number one man in her life for a long time.
They see each other throughout the weekday and on weekends.
“We do a lot of activities together, we go to parks, trips with family, to church and the movies,” Ayanna said. “He’s a good dad.”
Teresa Farmer, a recreation attendant for Sistas Gonna Work It Out, a mentoring program for girls 9-16, said it’s unfortunate that while many fathers are absent from their children’s lives, there are many more who are present.
“When the dads are there, the girl’s attitude seems to be a little different,” Farmer said. “You see that daddy’s girl type of situation...and it’s been positive for them.”
Farmer, a single mother herself, said when fathers drop their daughters off at the program, she notices the girls are well-rounded and believes they may become less sexually active when they get older.
“The dads are a lot more on top of things,” Farmer added. “It’s been positive for me to see that so many dads are involved.”
BOYS
Robert Wayne is a dad raising his 17-year-old son, Robert Wayne III, who has been living with him for 10 years.
Wayne’s father was taken from him when he was young, which is why it was imperative for him to raise Robert III in a stable environment.
“I think having a (father) is very important because without that a kid can get lost,” Wayne said. “There’s a lot of confusion with right and wrong. I didn’t have a father growing up. I wanted to be here for my son as he grew so I could give him the things that I missed that affected my development as a man.”
Robert III said he and his father are real close.
“He’s taught me almost everything,” the teenager said. “He’s taught me how to be a man.”
Aaron Means, the executive vice president of programs for 100 Black Men of Charlotte, an organization aimed at being role models for African American youths, said anybody can be a father but it takes a special person to be a dad.
“Being a dad is being there for the child, teaching them the right road, and being there when the child needs you,” Means said.
Means said what a child sees is what they will become.
“A lot of people just need to understand that black men care because we do,” Means added.
Wayne, who speaks very highly of his son, said their relationship is great. His son is talented athletically and is very special to him.
The best advice for any single father or new dad Wayne and Garvin said, is this:
“It’s very important to communicate with the child...and don’t give up because the child is always looking up to you,” Wayne said.
Garvin added: “It’s unfortunate that I have heard so many stories that say the father is not involved. But I embrace the relationship with my daughter. I even have different ways of thinking about womanhood now.”
posted by R.G. @ 5:53 PM
4 Comments
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4 Comments:
Hi, Rod,
Hope all is well. I've tagged you with a meme--details are on my blog.
Rod Garvin, I can't say I am surprised by the quality of your character, as your friend Mr. Ingram speaks highly of you, but I will say it is nevertheless a breath of fresh air to hear a young man talking about the relationship with his daughter with such earnest and high regard. Thanks.
Koren
Rod, this was an awesome article. And what a fantastic picture of you and Ayanna!
Foremost, I am glad that your daughter has her dad in her life. I appreciate how that there is quality time spent. It is not about how much time spent, but how time is spent. Children want their fathers to be engaging. You exemplify that. I hope brothas around you are paying attention and doing likewise. Continued success.
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